Picture this scene of animosity:
Thug: “You should always use the Oxford comma – you ambiguous fool!”
Oaf: “No, you should never use the Oxford comma – you stifling puritan!”
All right, lads, calm down. Don’t fall out over it, yeah?
You might have heard this kind of altercation on “the streets”, as crazed grammar bandits spit their heated comma quarrels at each other with impunity.
But that’s not fair, is it? We don’t have to stand by as their wrath wafts over us, like a fog of fury, do we? No!
But what do we need to confront this dogmatic dispute? An opinion?
Actually, no – everyone you ever spoke to who had an opinion on the Oxford comma has been wrong. Dead wrong – yeah, that’s right: everyone.
“But Tim, how can that be?” I hear you ask, inaudibly. “Surely someone out there must have figured it out, right?”
<points thumbs at chest>